The Club

Most everyone knows this about me, but for those of you who don't know, I belong to a club. A club that no mother wants to be a part of. The club of moms who have had to say goodbye to a child too soon. The club of bereaved mothers---that just sounds awful, doesn't it? I hate even typing it, because it just makes it that much more real. But, this is my life. This is a club I belong to. The club where we think of what could have been, what should of been. The club where we hide our tears and replace them with pretend smiles. All of us in this club have different stories of our children, but the same outcome.

For those of you maybe reading my blog for the first time and don't know my son's story, here it is.  This is how I was initiated into this club.

But, there's also something extremely powerful and special about our club. We welcome each other with compassion and empathy. We welcome each other with tears for one another and instant bonding. There's no judgement whatsoever. Only love for one another. Prayers for one another. Hope for the rainbow after the storm. And each time I hear another mother has joined this club, my heart breaks all over again. Breaks because the pain has resurfaced and I physically feel the pain that they are enduring.. And in that moment when initiation has begun, the bereaved mother is completely unaware: Unaware that there is a whole support system behind them, praying for them at that very instant. The bereaved mother might feel all alone, but I am here to tell you, as a member of this club for over two years, they are FAR from being alone. I wish no one would ever have to be a part of this club, but am so thankful that those who are; that we are in this together. To lift each other up during the really bad days, to listen to each other's feelings and really get it, and to praise God for the days where we smile and it is genuine. There's hope. Life will happen again. Laughter will happen again. Happiness will fill your heart again. But, take your time. There's no timeline to how your story plays out. Let God guide you and listen to Him. He is the only one that can heal your heart. There is NO such thing as time healing....it's God who heals and it's always in his perfect timing. So, be gentle on yourself and know there's a club out there who is right there for you when you need them the most.

Psalm 143:8 "Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life."