~6 Months~....I'm not counting....

Today came and went a lot faster than I expected. I have anticipated today for a couple of weeks knowing that today would be 6 months since Asher has left us. I honestly don't have any words to say, except that I miss him so much. His clothes are still hanging in the closet and folded perfectly in his drawers. His name is still hung over his crib. And call me crazy, but I love the sweet reminders all around. After all, he will always be my precious son; regardless of whether he is here on earth or in heaven.

God has been so amazing and so solid. I never really opened my heart to him until I lost my son and if that is the only blessing I will receive from this journey, I will take it, graciously. Because, I am truly saved now. I live for my Heavenly Father. And he is answering our prayers everyday, everyday. He has put his hands on us and around us and filling us with the spirit and molding us to be more like Christ. I can confidently say this now....We are So, So, So incredibly blessed and He continues to bless us. Thank you, Father.

Ethan loves his baby brother <3

Up, up & away

*Hope Mommies*

Hi there! I usually don't post on our facebook page, but I do read posts, I do empathize with all of your pain, and I do pray for you all. Because we have lost a child of our own, we are intertwined into a group of women that only can truly and intimately understand what each other is going through. I think it's amazing how each of you lift each other up and are so encouraging through each individual journey.

I am embarking on six months of losing my son, Asher, who was delivered a stillborn on September 7, 2012(37 weeks 3 days gestation). His grave is an hour and a half away from where I live and I am hoping to visit him next weekend. But, I was also telling my husband, that I don't have to go anywhere to visit him....he's always with us. I wanted to especially write to each of you to invite all of you to share where you are in the journey after losing a child. Whether it be two days, two months or two years. I thought it would be kind of special, neat and may encourage/inspire/give hope to another fellow "Hope Mommy."

Here is where I am:

During my quiet time this morning, I opened  up my bible to Deuteronomy 8(NIV). I had no intentions of reading it, but the title of the chapter was "Do Not Forget the Lord." I know the Lord wanted me to read it and that I did. I hope you read it too, because it spoke volumes to me in where I am after six months of losing my child.

^{Deuteronomy 8:2} Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. ³ He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.

This is where I am in my journey. I literally feel like I am in a foreign world almost, and God is humbling me. He is filling me with gentleness, kindness, and compassion. He is chiseling me into the woman He has designed me to be. That is where I am. And if you read the rest of the passage, it is such a great reminder that when things get better, when we are healed, and hopefully blessed with another miracle of a child....to not EVER forget our precious Father. Our Heavenly Father. The Father who has blessed us to an indescribable amount. The Father who has forgiven our sins. The Father who promised us eternal life. Ladies---the Father who promised we will see our children AGAIN. Is this not an amazing reminder?

This has been on my heart ALL day long, and I had to share with you all. You don't have to reply to my blog or post on facebook, but just think how far you have come and know it was Him. It was His grace, His comfort, His strength, His undying love for us that have brought us this far.

God Bless You All,

Nikki