Hope, Love & Peace for Newtown, CT

Tomorrow marks the week of the Newtown, CT shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I was in an appointment with no cell phone and had no idea what had happened until after I got out around noon. It was on the radio in my car and I listened in disbelief on my way to work. I went immediately to my computer once I arrived and just stared and stared. Scared, Sad, Angry, & Confusion were some of the immediate feelings that filled me to the core.

Immediately after Thanksgiving, I started to feel the waves of sadness creeping in about not having Asher with us for the Holidays. I would cry behind closed doors, even so my husband wouldn't see me. Everytime I saw someone post a photo of their newborn baby, I would get a little teary-eyed, because I don't get to share that moment with my baby. I'm not going to pretend; this is REALLY hard. But, I had friends remind me through God's Word, through e-mails, through devotionals, that everything is going to be o.k. So, I started focusing on the GOOD. Asher is in the safest place in this world. Asher gets to spend his first Christmas with the Savior himself. I am going to focus on the gift of our Lord more than ever before, because it is through Him that I have eternal life. It is through him, I will be able to hold my child again one day. The more I engraved these statements into my soul and read the truth, the more I was brought to peace during this Christmas season. And then last Friday, I felt as if all the good in this world had been shattered.

Shattered because, my heart hurt so much to see that twenty other sets of parents had lost a child.
Shattered because, our society is such an evil, wicked place.
Shattered because, our society has completely left God out of this situation.

When people tell me they are sorry for my loss they almost always include, "I just can't imagine what that would be like." Now as I sit here, I think to myself, "I just can't imagine what these people are going through." Even though losing Asher was completely unexpected, he went to Heaven from the safest place on earth, my womb. The Newtown kids and teachers left in the most unimaginable and horrific way possible. There are no words that can be said to make them feel better. I just continually pray every day for everyone directly affected by this tragedy and pray that they will find peace, comfort, and hope through all of this. I will never be able to compare this to my loss, but, through the midst of the sadness, tears, and grief, I hope and pray that some good can come of this. I hope there are people's lives who are saved and are brought closer to God than they could ever imagine.

Here is the truth that has helped me through this Christmas season. May the residents of Newtwon find hope, love, and peace in the truth.

Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.