Giving thanks, today and everyday

The holidays are finally here. It saddens my heart that Asher can't be celebrating his first Thanksgiving with our family. And there are moments, where I don't want to make a big deal out of the holidays this year because it just hurts too much, but when I look at my two year old son, and see the joy and wonder, I keep moving on.

This will probably be no surprise to any of you, but what I am most thankful for today is my sweet angel, Asher. God used my son as an irreplaceable instrument in my life. My walk with Jesus Christ is that much sweeter because of Asher. It can be hard to thank God for all the things He has blessed me with, but He HAS blessed me. He took Asher to show me how life is so truly precious. He took Asher to show me how deep my faith is and how I can make it stronger. He took Asher to show me that I will have an eternal life with our Savior. He took Asher to show me that I was created for a purpose. He took Asher to show me how much hope there is to gain when I have faith.

Matthew 12:20: “A bruised reed He will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench.” The New Living translation of this passage is marvelous: “He will not crush those who are weak, or quench the smallest hope." (Derek Prince Ministries)

Just when I felt like hope was all gone, it is Jesus I turned to. He hears my prayers and answers them. He has taken special people in my life to help give me and my husband hope. We hope for so many things, but it is with hope, that He does bring us joy and peace every day of our lives. This one thing is true:

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever." Psalm 107:1

I have hope in Him, our faithful and loving Father that He will continue to pour blessings unto our family. I have hope that He will continue to open our eyes and hearts so that we can walk in the path of righteousness. Thank you, dear Jesus, for you: For giving your lives for us so that we can live eternally with you. I don't want to thank you just today, but every day of my life. I am Your child and it is in You, that I have hope for brighter days.

Happy 2 Months Asher! We love you to Heaven and Back!!

FIVE YEARS!!

I can hardly believe that tomorrow is mine & Darren's five year anniversary! You know the saying, "Time flies when you're having fun?" Well, that mostly applies to us--at least from a marriage standpoint. I really do feel like it was yesterday that one of my closest friends dragged me out to go eat dinner with some boy she had met online(back when Myspace was the "it" thing). I still remember what table we sat at in Texas Roadhouse and shallowly thinking that my future husband had really nice arms. Oh, the worries of being 21! Never did it occur to me, that I was sitting next to a man who would change my life forever. We got engaged in St. Augustine nine short months later after meeting and were married at The Crescent in Valdosta, GA on November 3, 2007. Now, St. Augustine is one of our most treasured places to go because of all the special memories we have made there. In fact, I am actually waiting for my family to get home so we can hit the road and spend a fun weekend in St. Augustine. Another good advantage to this weekend---I can eat whatever I want! That's a cardinal rule for vacations, right?

So, here's where I start the mushy, gushy stuff. "X" this page if that's not your cup of tea! I knew Darren was the one for me after only a short month of dating. Trust me, I've dated plenty of guys to know what exactly I was looking for and when you find that special someone, you just don't let go! Less, than a year ago, I would think about our five year anniversary and picture us as a family of four. And I thought to myself, I don't need a fancy trip or a fancy gift for making it to five years, because I would have everything I need: my husband, and my two sons in my arms. But, God decided he had other plans for our five year anniversary, and that's ok. It's so hard to accept that Asher's not here with us and extremely painful, but it's just ok. Yes, I do wish things were different but I just keep praying and hoping that God will just keep pouring his blessings over us. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that most couples do not reach five years and endure all the pain and suffering that we have. But, because of the things Darren and I have gone through together, our life experiences together have made us that much stronger. Our marriage is a rock. A huge, solid rock and our foundation is Jesus Christ. Nothing can break us, and nothing will break us. My husband has turned into this amazing, God-fearing man and I am so in love with him. The way he has comforted me and taken care of me through this hard time in my life reminds me that he meant every word he said when we exchanged our vows. For better or for worse. Would I have ever realized these things of my husband if it weren't for Asher? I don't know the answer to that, but I do know this. That God put Darren in my life for a reason. To love me, unconditionally. Happy Five Year Anniversary, Darren. I love you to Heaven & back.

On our honeymoon :)